Through the Back Loop

Adventures in knitting, fiber arts, and family.

Monday, January 24, 2005

In Memory

Richard Anton Nigbor
01/13/1929 - 01/24/1977

Photo taken in 1974. This is a copy of the photo that I carry with me always.

If tears could build stairs,
And memories a lane,
I'd climb the stairs to heaven,
And bring you home again.
- Author Unknown

They say all wounds heal with time, but for me each day is only a reminder that my dad has been gone from my life for so many years. Today is the 28th anniversary of his death. Even though I can look back to that day with an adult perspective, every January 24th I am a seven year old girl once again.

I woke up that morning and asked my daddy to let me eat lunch at school that day instead of coming home to have lunch with him. I have regretted that decision for 28 years. If I had come home for lunch, he could have told me that he wasn't feeling well and I could have again called 911 for him. My mother has told me a million times that she talked to him at lunch that day and he was feeling fine. She has told me that I wouldn't have been able to help him, but I know different.

After school, instead of being the first one home as I usually was, I went with my Brownies troop to a roller-skating party. As one of the mother's dropped me off, I remember telling her that I couldn't wait to tell my daddy all about the party. When I walked in the door, I knew immediately that he had died. No one had to tell me. It was obvious when I saw my mother and older brother crying at the kitchen table. He had been sick all of my life, and even at the age of seven I knew that one day he wouldn't be there anymore. Even so, I wasn't prepared. I was his angel, his little girl. I could do no wrong, and I miss him.

I will never stop missing him.


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