Through the Back Loop

Adventures in knitting, fiber arts, and family.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

I can't even come up with a title for this one

I tried. Really I did. Things were looking up and I had told myself that March would be better. Everyday I was feeling positive. We heard some great news about a little girl that we know and of course John got his first "all clear" from cancer. Bills were getting paid. There was extra money to go shopping for the first time since last summer and I was really looking forward to our trip this weekend to the water park. Even the mouse terrorizing our empty house wasn't enough to really bring me down.

Then I checked the mail today..... after paying WAY too much on myself - for my hair. What a foolish, foolish girl I was. I should know by now that whenever it seems like we have extra money... it really isn't there. Something bad will happen. EVERY. TIME.

There it was. A loan default notice for our house. I was enraged. I make payments every month. Always. I called the 1-800 number to yell at anyone who would be there. They were closed. So, taking the time to gather all of my ammunition.... I went online to find the cleared checks for our mortgage payments. March payment - cleared. February payment.... February payment.... February payment... there it was. In January? No, that would be the January payment. Panic ensued. Where was the February payment? After checking the account three more times, I realized that money was so tight in February when John was on disability that I hadn't sent it in. I don't EVER remember that happening. I ALWAYS pay the mortgage... and John always checks to make sure that the payments clear. I SWEAR I paid in February. Somehow there is no record of any check being written or anything clearing our bank for that month.

I put us in default.

You know what? Take the house. I don't want it anymore.... it won't sell... no one wants to invest to finish the damn thing and it has caused us more sleepless nights and tension filled shoulders than I ever thought could be possible. The bank can have it. There is no hope.

Since August my mantra has been, "I can never do anything for me without somehow paying for it." Now I'm afraid to even go this weekend. I know that we can't even afford the "free" trip that has been given to us. We don't have enough money for the bills...... again. How will we find the money for this great "free" trip? We will need extra money for the dog vaccination, the dog kennel, gas, food, and who knows what else. My daughter just said that they don't have to play lazer tag in order to save money. Some relaxing break from our problems this has turned out to be.

I can't do this anymore. I give up. Done.


  • At 9:30 PM , Blogger Eileen said...

    I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Wish I could help but all I can do is offer my sympathy

  • At 7:56 AM , Blogger JoAnn said...

    Hey Kristyn:
    Sorry to hear about all that's going on with your family. **Hugs**
    If you can email me (through my blog) your address, I'm sure I send you something to put a smile on your face.
    Chin up!


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home