I Know How You Feel, Michelle!

My practice runs have not been so hot. Luckily, there was no media there to record my demise, unlike my Olympic teammate, Michelle Kwan.

With the Olympic theme music playing, I entered the arena (my kitchen) and began my first steps of kool-aid dyeing with trepidation. I wavered. Should I go with the full immersion dye method, the painting method, or the “just sprinkle it on” method that a friend from spinning guild told me about? I floundered several times, and then decided that the colors would be darker if I sprinkled. I hear all of you moaning and gasping, “No, don’t do it! It will ruin your chances for the gold!” Why didn’t I listen?

Then, to cover up my mistake for the judges, I decided to overdye with the immersion method. I was going for two shades of blue, one dark and one light. I put the mix in the water, and for a dark blue color it looked very light. Then the fatal mistake. I decided to add a packet of “tropical punch” to darken the color. The package was blue, so obviously the mix must also be, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS???? RED???? Now my dye vat was mud colored. CRAP! I had to dump it out and rethink my entire strategy.

I decided to dye the lighter shade of blue with immersion. I got the water ready, added the mix, and OH MY GOD! THIS LIGHT PACKAGE IS ACTUALLY A DARK BLUE. I have now learned this important lesson:

Marketing is a bunch of crap!

The dye was dark, but the yarn, after soaking for over an hour and being coerced with vinegar, didn’t get as dark. I squeezed out all of the water and set the wool to dry, exhausted. Today, I will step into the competition ring and try yet again.

Hang in there Michelle, we can do it!